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Why it Wasn't Helen's Fault

Even though Jim's sister Helen might be said to be late at times, this time it probably wasn't her fault.

Remember, she went to Philadelphia to see a play.  That would entail driving her own car to the Absecon train station, which might be somewhat predictable.

Then, assuming the train was on time, things would seem to be under control and on schedule.  But then, of course, you will ultimately arrive in Philadelphia, where things might not be quite so predictable.

The taxi would likely get tied up in traffic and have to drive on the sidewalk to get around some sort of obstruction, which takes some amount of time to avoid pedestrians who are walking into the street because of all the auto traffic on the sidewalk.

Then comes the departure.  It was on Friday morning, when both pedestrian and vehicular traffic would be pretty rough.  After the taxi ordeal again, getting you to the train possibly a bit late, then fighting your way through the angry crowds in the train station would normally be expected.

We'll assume the train engineer was also a bit late, cuz he had to drive his own car up on the sidewalk to get through on time, then find a parking spot at the station.

Then, whenever everybuddy finally gets loaded on the train and it's ready to head out, guess what?

You're right!

There's a truck parked right on the tracks, with a tractor loading some construction debris into it, and both drivers are on their official break, down at the bagel shop, so...Since the train can't very easily drive up on the sidewalk to get around the obstruction, he simply has to wait until the construction team returns from their break and finishes loading the truck and disappears into the morning traffic...
until tomorrow, when the scene will repeat itself, except that the construction crew will be on overtime!

 

Sparky's New York Trip, September, 2003, Page 5
by Sparky

Absecon, New JerseyTrain station at Absecon, New Jersey

September 12, 2003.  We left Atlantic City and headed back to Absecon, where we had spent the previous night in a motel.  Gloria contacted Jim's sister, Helen, who had gone to Philadelphia to see her granddaughter in a play. Helen was then in a train, on her way back to Absecon, but she had gotten delayed, then the train was late, so the planned arrival time of 2:30 was out the window.

According to the schedule on the train platform, it was actually due in at 3:06, but it was looking like it wouldn't get in until around 4:30 or so.  You have to understand something about Jim's sister:  She was late to her own wedding, so such a person would not be expected to have much of a grasp of time in relationship to the rest of the world.

It was finally decided for us to head for Helen's condo in Waretown, New Jersey, about 40 miles up the road.  Helen gave Gloria the directions, and in about an hour or so we arrived, and found the key in a seckert place, so we could get in, cuz we was going to spend a couple of nights there.

Photo #1 shows Helen's condo...it is the right half of the building.

Photo #2 shows a view of the condos from the end of the pier in back.

Photo #3 shows another pier that runs along the beach for a couple hundred feet.

Photo #4 shows all the cool boats that the neighbors own, but Helen doesn't have a boat.

Sparky's Photo Album of Helen's Condo

Helen's condo, in Waretown, New Jersey
1. Helen's Condo on right side

Helen's back yard view
2. View of back of condos

View of piers behind condo complex
3. View of pier behind condos

Some of neighbors' boats behind condos
4. Neighbors' boats

Helen got there about 6:00, and her lifelong friend Norma was with her.  Jim remembers Norma from many years ago, when she used to babysit him and his younger sister, Sharon.  After a short discussion, they all headed out for a steak house somewhere around the corner and down the street, in the next town.

In fact, everywhere Helen has lived in that area is always "Around the corner and down the street," or "Down the street and around 4 or 5 corners," and if you aren't careful, or even if you are careful, you'll often wind up in the next county, or back in the neighbor's garage without reaching your destination.

Come to think of it, everywhere east of Kansas City seems to have those same characteristics.  It must be the excess of trees and lack of mountains to use for navigation aids.

September 13, 2003.  We all got up early and got out the map, plus two more maps of the area and headed for the McDonald's for breakfast.  We only jest got a little bit lost, but did eventually get back to the condo before lunch time.

After lunch Helen took us to see some of the sights around the area, which included lots of roads and lots of corners, and an old hardware store that was so full of merchandise that everybuddy was bumping into each other.  They probably had everything ever made in there, but it was so packed in that things were hard to find.

They also had an upstairs that me and Sniffy went to check out, but it was reel scary up there cuz it was even more packed with stuff, and when even the family rat gets nervous, it's time to leave!  But not before Helen bought an old fashioned coffee pot that you put on the top of an old wood or coal powered cook stove, and it cooks you some coffee in about 3 hours if you reely pour on the coal.

Helen and her husband Al have a home in another little town named Richfield Springs, in Upstate New York, and it is also located "Down the street and around several curves and corners," and we ran out of time, so we didn't get to see it this time.  Richfield Springs doesn't have a website, but you ken jest click on the Cooperstown website cuz it's nearby, and they have a lot of interesting museums there.

After all the sightseeing we headed for another mysterious town named Little Egg Harbor, in New Jersey.  That's where Jim's sister Sharon lives with her cat named Esther.  Sniffy took an immediate liking to Esther the cat, and got his picture took with her and Sharon.

To find out more about Little Egg Harbor Township,  click here, but don't expect a lot of exciting things to do and see.

We went to dinner at another restaurant that is located just up the street, around 2 corners and 3 curves, but I forgot the name of it.  The food was great, though, according to everybuddy that ate there.

Sparky's Photo Album of Helen and the Others
Jim, Norma & Helen pretending to want their picture taken
1. Jim, Norma & Helen
Helen & Jim with Sparky & Hiram
2. Helen, Jim, Sparky & Hiram
Sharon with her cat Ester and Sniffy
3. Sharon, Esther the Cat & Sniffy
Sniffy with Sharon's cat Esther
4. Esther the cat with Sniffy the rat

We won't get to go to Helen's condo anymore, though, cuz she sold it and will be moving her stuff out of it pretty soon.  I think it was too easy to find, so she'll probably look for another one pretty soon, one that is reely hard to find, like one that is "Up the street, around 5 curves, down another street, around 4 corners, across the bridge, around 2 more corners, then stop and ask for directions to find out the rest of the way there."

That's the kind of house she likes.

Go on to the next page for our New York adventures, cuz that's where we headed the next morning.

Famous New Jerseyites

Jim and his sisters were all born in New Jersey, but Jim has defeated the natural urge to move back there.  None of them are famous, yet, but the people below, who were also born in New Jersey are famous:

Bud Abbott comedian, Asbury Park
Lou Costello
comedian, Paterson
Charles Addams cartoonist, Westfield
Edwin Aldrin astronaut, Montclair
William Count Basie band leader, Red Bank
Joan Bennett actress, Palisades
Judy Blume author, Elizabeth
Jon Bon Jovi musician, Sayreville
James Fenimore Cooper author, Burlington
David Copperfield magician, Metuchen
Alfred Joyce Kilmer poet, New Brunswick
Alfred C. Kinsey zoologist, Hoboken
Ernie Kovacs comedian, Trenton
Dorothea Lange photographer, Hoboken
Jerry Lewis comedian, film director, Newark
Jack Nicholson actor, Neptune City
Dorothy Parker author, West Bend
Zebulon Pike explorer, soldier, Lamberton
Joe Piscopo comedian, actor, Passaic

Frank Sinatra singer, actor, Hoboken
Kevin Spacey actor, South Orange
Bruce Springsteen musician, Freehold
Meryl Streep actress, Summit

Being born in New Jersey doesn't mean that you'll become famous, but you are entitled to the special offer at any coffee shop in the area:  "Buy one cup of any style coffee and get another cup of equal or lesser value for the same price."  Tell them "Sparky sent you," and you ken buy all the coffee you want at regular prices.


Overheard in a New Jersey Deli:

Two guys that talked like Bugs Bunny:
"Yo, Vinny, did you hear dem people that got outta dat van overdere wit' the real bad Colorado accents?  Dat kid behind the counter could hardly unnerstand dem"

 

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Copyright (C) 2004 by James J. Meagher