New Sparky Chronicle Logo, Said to Impart More of a Masculine Look Photo of Sparky with a Frosty Fizz Cola and Crunchy Critters Candy Bar A Website Chronicling the Day to Day Struggles of a Stuffed Animal Who Believes He's Alive!

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Click Below!!
to see Sparky's Newest Invention:
"Banana Holder"
 
which was added on
February 5th, 2006

Check it Out!!
Fabulously beautiful graphic header for the "About Sparky" page
I was manufactured somewhere in the Orient, cuz I remember seeing a lot of Oriental people working in the hound dog factory and none of them could talk English, so I don't zactly know how they knew what they was each other talking about. I couldn't talk English either, but I knew what was going on anyhow.Sparky standing, showing off his cool super hero outfit.

My aktual birthday was in August of 1988. I guess folks call that my "Cash Register Birthday," cuz I was really manufactured earlier than that and I spent a while in the warehouse back home in the Orient, then a trip in a wood crate on a boat then a airplane trip to a store in Salt Lake City, Utah. It was reely humiliating cuz they put me in the baby department of a large department store. I got stuck there for a long time cuz I was a little bit pink and some people thought I looked like a sissy. Also, I din't have any clothes when I got out of the store.

This pitcher on the right shows me with my cool super hero outfit. You can't see my cape reel good, but it hangs down behind. I have my gun tucked in behind my belt so it's always ready. You can sort of see my Rambo Rope just under my ears.

Anyway, after getting out of the store the first thing I did was to throw out the receipt so nobody could take me back in case things din't work out, but because I knew how to be cool pretty soon everybuddy took to me so I din't have to run away from my new home.

I'm not sure where they got my name, but I think we drove past a old cowboy pickup truck going down the road and it was squirting sparks out from underneath cuz the muffler was dragging on the street and everytime it hit a bump a big shower of sparks shot out. It was hitting a lot of bumps cuz the guy was driving with the tires on the right side off on the dirt on the side of the street, so he musta been still learning how to drive.

Anyhow, I met some other friends on the trip to my new home. There was 4 other hounds in the van, and the boss was named "Hiram," but I started calling him "The Old Feller" cuz he was so old, and he din't seem to mind. They liked to hear my stories of life in that department store.

I musta been reel adventurous cuz nobody else of my new family used to sneak out after the stores closed and get into things. Like, frinstance, the taco store threw away some of the left over tacos, so me and some of the other fellers used to go and help ourselves. Then we went and helped ourselves to candy things that fell on the floor in the candy store, and I even invented a way to climb up on the soda machine and pull the handle and get a mouth full of all different kinds of soda and iced tea and all kinds of other reel cool things to drink. We used to get reel bad tummy aches sometimes, but the medicine store had a reel door that we couldn't get through, so we jest had to be sick all night.

Hiram, the old feller, was only in his store for jest a few minutes until he got bought, so he was really iggerant about life in a reel mall. The other feller, "Leroy," was in a store that had a glass door that they locked at night, so he was stuck in that store, so he din't learn much, too. Another feller, named "Louie," came from a mall store in St. Louis, and he was too fat to squeeze through the bars on the door, so he was also stuck and couldn't get out and check out the mall. He said it was reely tough cuz there was a chocolate fudge store nearby, and he could small the fudge, but he never could get any. The fourth guy was named "Darrell," and he had used to be a cat, but since he was so surrounded by dogs, they quickly changed his "Cattitude" into a "Attitude," then they taught him to get into a good mood once in a while, so he was okay even though he din't zaktly like seeing me, another dog, joining the family.
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More Sparky News

by Sparky WWW Meagher

Since this website is turning out so perfessional looking and all, I have decided to contact the cops or whoever I need to so I can get aholt of my own middle name, cuz I din't never have one yet. As you can see above, the name I have chosen is WWW.

The difference I decided to do was to not use no dots after the letters, cuz they look like periods that they use at the end of a sentence. I don't like no periods in my name cuz they could be mistaken for bullet holes, like somebuddy was against me using those letters for my middle name.
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Sparky's Favorite RecipesPretzel Sandwich with loads of condiments

While I'm not zaktly a cook, I do have some very tasty recipes that make reel good food that a lot of my friends also like, too.

Pretzel Sandwich

Take 2 slices of bread, or make some toast, or get a hamburger or hotdog bun, or a sliced Bagel, or donut, or Cheese Danish, or Tortillas, or whatever else will work like a slice of bread and put the items on a clean table or spot on the floor. (Not the rug, though, cuz you'll get lint bunnies all over it). Get a big pawful of pretzels, preferably your favorite kind, but other kinds will also work.

If you have condiments like banana slices, grapes, raisins, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, honey, or ice cream, don't waste your time fooling around with no pretzel sandwich, jest dig in and leave the bread slices for somebody else.

If you have other condiments or accessories like pickles, lettuce, termaters, mustard, relish, ketchup, etc., and you like any of them, then put a bunch on the two pieces of bread or whatever you're using. After you get them condiKind of Pretzel that works best in a sandwichments arranged the way you like them, then get your pretzels and stack them on the slices of bread covered with condiments the best way you like them to be stacked. Then get the other piece of bread and flip it over on top of the pile of pretzels. Anything that falls out, jest you ken kick it under something close by, like a table or chair or something, or if you have a cat in the house, make it look like he made the mess.

Now your pretzel sandwich is ready to eat with your favorite beverage, and I think it goes reel good with Root Beer.
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Chocolate Chip Cookie Salad

Ingredients:Picture of salad you start with

1 Regular size salad bowl
Some Salad
Some Salad Dressing (The same as everybuddy else is having)
Some big dried bread crumbs
A salad fork
A big bag of chocolate chip cookies
A big glass of chocolate milk

Take the salad bowl and put in some salad and dressing. Smear it all around with the fork so the dressing is all over the bowl. Run to the window and mention that there's probably gonna be a big cat fight out there pretty soon. When everybuddy else runs there to look, dump out the salad where nobuddy will find it, even in somebuddy else's bowl if possible.Chocolate chip cookies that are a lot better than a salad

When everybuddy comes back to the table, push your empty bowl away, rub your mouth with a napkin and make a little burp while reaching for the chocolate chip cookies. If anybuddy says anything, tell them the salad filled you up, but you saved jest enough room for 11 or 9 of them cookies and start eating. Chocolate milk washes them down reel good!
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