The first day we got to Salt Lake City, Utah, where I was born out of the store shown in the pitcher in 1987.

We went out and saw a big open pit copper mine that was so deep that we din’t dare get out of the van, except that I got out and got a free piece of copper ore from the special place where they keep it fer tourists like us. I still have that rock hid in a special place, cuz it has some copper in it and it’s worth some money.

To see more about copper mines click below--the second link shows pictures of the great big hole that we was scared to fall into:

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The second day we got to Reno, Nevada, and spent the night in a big fancy hotel that had slot machines downstairs. Us guys was reel tired so we din’t do no exploring or nothing. We didn't even take no pitchers!

There was an old door that was locked to keep out people who din't buy no ticket to go inside, but the door din't fit reel good, in fact, a big dog could jest walk through it reel easy, so the two of us din't have no trubble at all.  There was some rickety stairs there, so we was jest reel careful and jumped down them one at a time, and pretty soon we got down about a hunnert steps, and there was a lot of creepy noises that sounded like there might have been some ghosts or rats down there, and it was also getting near time fer lunch, so we decided that we could jest check it out the next time we go there, so we decided to head back fer the van.  We also heard some water dripping and it smelled reel wet, so that's always a tip off to us to get out of somewhere!

That was reel tough going, climbing back up them stairs, cuz they were full of splinters and dirt and stuff, but we finally made it and got back into the van and told the other guys what we had seen.  By then the old folks was coming back, so we all got ready fer lunch, which we got in the form of some munchies they bought at a little store back near the ramp to the highway.

You ken find out more about that Empire Gold Mine by clicking below.  It was reely cool cuz they had all sorts of lecktrickal things and other mining machines all over the place on the ground where you could jest go and check them out without climbing no stairs, so I reely recommend this place.

Then the third day after touring the Empire Gold Mine we got to Sacramento, California, where the old folks took a bike ride and left us guys alone in the van. We noticed that some vultures was circling above where the old folks was riding, so we always knew where they were. Them vultures must figger that they were likely to get a meal the way some people ride their bikes. I don’t know fer sure, though.

San Francisco, California

The fourth day we arrived at San Francisco, California. The best thing we found out about San Francisco is that there are a lot of reel cool transportation things to ride on.  You ken also drive your cars there, but you got to have a reel big motor since there are so many exter tall hills there in San Francisco, so us guys din’t go fer no walks.  Anyway, there was a lot of weirdos hanging around, so we jest laid low except when we went somewhere with the old folks.

The one thing that you have to do because of the big hills is to park your car next to the curb on the side of the street and then you have to turn your front wheels so that if the brakes break and the car tries to take off, it will jest run into the curb and won’t go racing down the hill and jump crazy like in the movies.

Well, they paved one of those hilly streets too many times and the tar came up to the same level as the curb, so this here feller parked his car near a corner and jest turned the front wheels toward the curb that he always used to keep his car from running away and he got out and went into a fish store fer lunch. (Yukk, a fishburger don’t sound very good to me!) After a few minutes the brake must have broke in that car, cuz it took off across the sidewalk and raced right into somebuddy’s garage and made a mess.

If you don’t turn your wheels toward the curb, and your brakes break, what usually happens is that your car will jest go racing down the hill and crash into the ocean. In fact, the last half mile or so of land in San Francisco is made up with fill dirt. In the old days when horse wagons came loose from the horses and went racing down the hills and crashed into the ocean, they jest kept filling around them with dirt, and sometimes that horse wagon also hit a boat and poked a hole in it and made it sink, so there was very quickly a lot of boats and horse wagons piled up in the ocean at the edge of town, so it kept some more horse wagons very busy hauling in dirt to dump in the ocean. I think they still dump in dirt after a certain number of cars get done crashing into the ocean, but the cops give you a ticket if you don’t turn your wheels jest right, so they don’t have very many runaway cars no more, and all the horse wagons are already in there by now.

San Francisco cable cars were jest too old and complicated to mess with. There are some big wire cables that run under the street and they go about 10 miles per hour all the time. The cable cars each have a steel thing attached onto a big handle that the driver pulls on so he can grab aholt of that cable and then it pulls the cable car along on some special tracks that are put into the street. For brakes they have some regular brakes like trains also have, that grab hold of the wheels and stop the car, but sometimes when the hill is too steep, they also have another big lever that the driver guy pulls and it pushes a big stick down and it scrapes on the street and makes the car stop. If that also doesn’t work, then he has another thing that grabs hold of something down in the slot where the cable runs under the street and stops the car in that manner. They had to do it that way cuz they don’t have no steering wheel on them cable cars, so they can’t jest turn the wheels toward the curb.

You ken click here to find out more about the cable car museum where they have some big motors that make the cables run that go under the streets and pull the cable cars along. That museum is on my highly recommended list, but none of us guys wanted to go down in the basement and check out them moving cables, cuz that looked like a reel good way to get hurt bad enough to end up in the trash! 

Somebuddy said that if you climb up on the cable that holds them wires out in the middle of the street, you ken climb down and put one of them wires on each ear and hear if the next bus is coming.

A nice thing we discovered about San Francisco, and now all of California, is that they don’t let nobuddy smoke cigarettes or segars in restaurants and some other buildings no more. Ever since Mrs. Murphy’s cat knocked over that lantern and started a fire that caused the earthquake back in 1906, folks have been scared, and they finally passed that law to prevent another recurrence of that famous incident. They really are into prevention out there, jest like the law about turning your wheels toward the curb.

The old folks bought a couple of tickets fer fifteen dollars each, and they could ride all the buses fer a whole week all over the place there in the area. Most times when we got onto the bus and the old folks showed the driver person the ticket he din’t even look at it, and lots of people got on through the back door, and none of them showed any tickets, just maybe a piece of torn newspaper, and the driver din’t look at them either, so us guys figgered out that you ken jest show them anything and they’ll let you ride. If the bus cop catches you, though, he’ll throw you off right into the street, so rather than take a chance, I’ll sell you the unused part of those tickets fer 5 cents each. You ken jest show the driver that ticket and he’ll let you right on. We only jest used 4 days off of the week we paid fer, so if there’s any trubble, jest remind him of that. Those tickets are great! They let you ride all the different buses, the train to the beach, which is shown in the pitcher. You ken jest see all them wires all over the place where that train turns around at the beach. It was pretty cold the day we rode that train, that the homeless bums were all bundled up and din’t even try to ask fer money. That ticket will also let you ride the World Famous Cable Cars!

When we was looking around behind the motel I found this machine called a “Tommy Translater Machine,” and how it works is that you jest type in some letters and the little computer brain inside figgers out that word and then you ken select a particular voice, then anytime you push a button, it says that word. So, of course, we jest had to have some fun with it.

First, I typed in, “Yo, Mac,” and held it near the window if the motel, and every time somebuddy came past I pushed the button, but people in San Francisco are never named “Mac,” I guess, cuz nobuddy never looked up. Anyway, we had some fun with it the next day when a couple of us guys went to breakfast with the told folks. We went downtown and had breakfast at a well known fast food restaurant that I won’t name again, and while the folks was standing in line, I saw a word on the building next door to the restaurant, and I didn’t know what it said, so I jest typed the word in. The word was, “Immigration,” so then I pushed the button and the machine whispered, “Immigration,” but we could barely hear it, so Ty turned up the loudness thingy all the way jest as I pushed the button again, and the machine yelled out, “IMMIGRATION!”

In about three seconds the old folks was standing there all alone in line, and the parking lot cleared out. Then the back door of the place flew open and everybuddy but the manager raced off down the alley. I don’t understand exactly what happened, but that manager got the old folks their breakfast pretty fast after that! I’m glad that talking machine was small, cuz we hid it under the seat reel fast, cuz pretty soon a cop came by looking around to see what was going on, and we jest sat there looking like some regular stuffed animals till he left.

This was the first trip for our newest brother. His name is “Ty.” Marcy found him in a Teddy Bear store in Thailand and brought him home to Denver, along with his little Bicycle Rickshaw thing that he can’t reach the pedals on yet. He wasn’t used to being cold, cuz it’s always reel hot back home, so he found the sweater in the sweater drawer, and now he wears it all the time. The other two guys in the pitcher followed us out the door after we ate at some fish place in San Francisco. Their names are “Bubba #1” and “Bubba #2.” We don’t know which is which, but we figgered out that they probably know. They're not really Teddy Bears, but maybe they're stuffed animals...we're not sure.  They don’t do much except hang around and smile a lot, so they probably will have a hard time assimilating into the crowd with the rest of us.

After eating at that fish place in San Francisco, we went to another place nearby and got a couple of ice cream cones that we was able to share with the old folks. A bird came and landed next to Sniffy on the railing next to the ice cream eating tables and Sniffy jumped back and dropped his last piece of the ice cream cone cuz that big bird was bigger than him and reel intimidating, so the bird finished it off and was looking around for more. After getting bored fer a while, that bird flew off, and he was so fat that he almost couldn’t fly and almost wound up in the ocean below.

The next morning the old folks and Dexter went to breakfast downtown. After they got their grub, a bum who was begging fer money outside got lucky and some guy gave him a dollar, so he went inside the world famous breakfast restaurant, where he (the bum) started arguing with guy behind the counter. That bum wanted the guy to hurry up cuz now that he had a dollar, all of a sudden he was a paying customer and was in a hurry to get his coffee and get back outside to beg fer some more money.

Before leaving San Francisco we went up north and Sniffy got to go with the old folks and walk out on the Golden Gate Bridge. Sniffy said it didn’t look very gold, and there was some guys sanding off some rust with sandpaper, then they was squirting on some orange paint to keep it looking golden.

Then we went to a place called “Stinson Beach,” but a sign said, “People have been attacked by sharks here, be careful,” so we sure was careful, anyhow, we all hate water anyway.

After leaving San Francisco, we went South along the ocean and saw lots of boats and other water things all over the place. Pretty soon we came to a great big bridge that we didn’t dare play near, cuz that time, we decided that the warning sign was probably correct.