New Sparky Chronicle Logo, Said to Impart More of a Masculine Look Photo of Sparky with a Frosty Fizz Cola and Crunchy Critters Candy Bar A Website Chronicling the Day to Day Struggles of a Stuffed Animal Who Believes He's Alive!


All Travel
Train & Yard
Food Page
About Sparky
Contact Me
Bike Stories
D-I-Y Page
Click Below!!
to see Sparky's Newest Invention:
"Banana Holder"
which was added on
February 5th, 2006

Check it Out!!

Sparky's Food Page Header

The Banana Holder

by Sparky

The old folks got this here banana holder for Christmas, and everything was going along great until they got down to the last banana, then it wouldn't hold it up.

As you can easily see by the second picture, there is no provision to hold up that last banana, so it'll jest have to sit on the bottom of the banana holder, where it could get attacked by bugs or something like that.

Since I always like to get involved and invent new things that nobuddy else ever invented, I decided to invent some way to hold up that last banana to prevent these problems.

In the third picture you ken easily see that I have used a wood clamp to hold up that last banana, but it took a reel strong person to open that clamp far enough to get it to go around the banana.

the next thing I tried was to jest put that last banana into a plastic bag I found next to the garbage can in the garage, and that worked pretty good, except for the ants crawling around on the inside of the bag.

The next invention was to put the last banana into a little basket that was sitting right there, and it worked pretty good.

Then I put that last banana into my brother Sniffy's jacket, and that also worked pretty good.

But the best thing I invented was that I discovered that if you jest take your little hacksaw and cut off each banana and leave part of the skeleton that holds them together when they come from the store. You ken then hang that skeleton on the little hook on the banana holder and it works great. Then when that last banana is empty, you can jest stick it back onto the banana holder to remind whoever goes to the store to race right out and get you some more bananas!

Also, in case somebuddy forgets to eat their Gingko Biloba madicine that helps people remember things, and they cut off the banana skeleton, you ken jest force that last banana into the banana holder hook thingy and it'll keep it safely up in the air.

Return to Top    Return to Home

Banana Holder that won't hold jest 1 banana
Banana holder showing what happened to the last banana
Banana Holder with last banana held by wood clamp
Second try where I put the last banana in an old plastic bag
Another try where I put the last banana in a little basket
The last banana stuck into a little jacket
I sawed off the second-to-last banana and left the skeleton to hold up the last banana
Leave the empty banana skeleton to remind the family shopper to get some more
Banana being held by jamming it into the banana holder hook.

New Help For EatingOur favorite Cookie---OREO's
Oreo Cookies

by Sparky

A lot of you may not have noticed, but none of us guys got any opposing thumbs, so it is reely hard to unscrew them Oreo Cookies so we ken eat the ice cream inside.

It probably isn't much of a problem for a lot of people, but if we use a screwdriver or some tool like that, it might be dirty and a feller could ketch hydrophobia from the germs all over the tool that would then get into that ice cream from the cookie.

In the meantime, though, me and some of my brothers invented a way to automatically open them Oreo Cookies without getting our paws dirty with that ice cream.  You also have to remember to wash off the machine we used to prevent from ketching any hydrophobia germs.

Sparky's Powerful Steamshovel to the Rescue!

Warning:  As withSafety glasses or goggles that a feller should wear when opening Oreo Cookies any project involving powerful machinery or tools, you should always wear safety glasses or goggles before beginning.  Remember, if the cookie should shatter, you could end up with pieces of it in your eyes.

As you ken see from the pictures at right, I invented a way that I could use the tremendous power from my Powerful Steam Shovel to open them Oreo Cookies quickly and without making a mess that might end in a trip to sit in thGetting ready to open an Oreo Cookiee corner.

That's me in the background, operating the control for my Powerful Steam Shovel, as Ty (left), Sniffy and Peanut look on.

Notice that the Powerful Steam Shovel has completOreo Cookie opened by Powerful Steamshovelely opened the Oreo Cookie without scattering either cookie crumbs or the ice cream inside all over the place.

The final picture shows us having a "Happy Oreo CookieA fun Oreo Cookie Party after getting it opened Party."

Of course, it would be better if we had a big jug of chocolate milk to go with it.  Or, if you prefer, cuz it might be cold outside where you live, hot chocolate also works, as well as coffee if you're a big person.

Return to Top     Return to Home

All About Eating JELL-O®Yummy Bowl of Jello

JELL-O® is very good when eaten with the traditional spoon.

For variety, or if you drop your spoon on the floor, you ken jest try eating it with a fork, although in them Oriental countries where most of usChopsticks that work reel good to scratch your back or eat Jell-O hounds came from, lots of people eat JELL-O® with chopsticks, but you have to be reel good at using them chopsticks to do that. (Personally, I found out that chopsticks work better fer scratching my back).Glass of Jell-O that you ken drink with a big straw

You ken also moosh it up and drink it from a bowl or cup or glass, and if you moosh it up enough you ken drink it through one of them big straws that they have at the Slurpee store.

If the person who wants you to eat the JELL-O® isn’t looking, you ken jest acksidentally dump it on the floor and ask fer something that’s easier to eat, like ice cream and chocolate chip cookies, frinstance.

Another way to eat JELL-O® is to cut it up into cubes after it gets done freezing in the fridgerator, then  trade the different colored cubes with your neighbors so each of you has 3 or 4 different colors of JELL-O®, and that gives you something to do until the next batch of JELL-O® arrives.

You ken also eat JELL-O® in different places to make it more exciting. You ken eat it in a chair, or in bed. Or in the elevator, cuz then you ken see it wiggle and jiggle reel good and it might get you laughing, specially if a bunch of you are being silly and all eating JELL-O®, but be careful, cuz that’s usually when I start giggling too much and it squirts out my nose and ears.

That reminds me, the last time I had to eat JELL-O® was after I got my ear operated on to put in a new squeaker and I wasn’t feeling good fer a little while, then when that new squeaker broke, I felt even worse, so now I jest don’t have no squeaker.

For more variety, some of us guys have been known to put aHamburger just waiting fer a slice of Jell-O nice slice of JELL-O® between the middle of a hamburger bun, since them buns come in a package of 8, but we normally get 5 hamburgers out of a pagacks [plural of package] of hamburger meat. That way there is always 3 of them buns left over, and they usually grow green things if they sit there too long. Sometimes we also put in a piece of lettuce if there is also some of that lying around, but it definitely doesn’t go with onions or pickles or ketchup or mustard, so we jest glob on some whipped cream if we have any, and it makes a great meal that is also a dessert.

If you have trubble with the JELL-O® being too wiggly, you ken jest mix it with less water and it will turn out less wiggly.

Another trick is to make some of that less wiggly JELL-O® and pour it into a piece of old garden hose that you ken cut out of the middle of the long hose and put it into the fridgerator to get wiggly. Then you ken jest heat the hose piece in soYummy hotdog made with Jell-O instead of a warm water a little until that JELL-O® pops out and it will look zacktly like a hot dog if you do it right. Then you ken use up some of them exter hot dog buns that was left over cuz somebuddy ate up the hot dogs without the bun. Instead of mustard you ken also put on some whipped cream that comes in one of them squirt cans, and it’ll look jest like a reel hot dog, but it won’t give you the hot dog burps that we all hate.

Remember: You never outgrow your need fer JELL-OSparky's Powerful Steam Shovel that is useful in burying or digging up bones®! It will also keep your claws or fingernails from breaking if you eat enough of it. That way if you’re out in the back yard digging up bones, and you don’t have a Powerful Steam Shovel, like I do, you won’t have that trubble to deal with.

Another thing you ken do is throw little blocks of JELL-O® at cats if they’re giving you some trubble, and the ants in the neighborhood will eat it up and the evidence will be all gone so you won’t get into no trubble.

Also, I jest discovered another exciting resipey of how to make JELL-O®-Oreo Instant Pudding treats and you ken read all about it here: 

The Jell-O Website 

If you happen to make too much JELL-O®, me and the guys will help you eat it up!

Return to Top       Return to Home

How Coffee WasA great big cup of coffee Discovered

By Sparky

Once upon a time, about a zillion years ago, there was this feller named Jack Valdez, who lived in an old shack with his mother, Trixie.

They was poor people, and they was almost starving, cuz Trixie had lost her job down at the candle factory due to layoffs cuz lots of other people was also too poor to buy very many candles. Most of them couldn’t read anyhow, so they didn’t reely need no candles except when it was time to eat dinner. It’s reel hard to eat in the dark without biting your paws or fingers, or eating some food that has green things growing all over it, so that’s when most people used their candles.Picture of Mrs. Moo

Anyhow, they had this reel cool cow named “Mrs. Moo,” who manufactured lots of milk that they both drank, but both of them was getting tired of drinking milk all the time, and they wanted some reel food. Neither Jack nor his mom wanted to turn Mrs. Moo into hamburgers, though, so it was decided that Jack would take Mrs. Moo into town and sell her to get some money to buy something to eat.

Jack got some money and went shopping. He bought some hotdogs and hotdog buns, some tater chips and mustard and some chocolate chip cookies, and a couple of jugs of chocolate milk.

Then on his way home, a feller stepped out of an alley and offered Jack some magic beans fer a couple of the dollars he had left over. When Jack got home, they both had a reel feast and pretty soon all the food and chocolate chip cookies and chocolate milk was all gone and they were right back where they had started, except that now they didn’t have no cow to manufacture any more milk.

That’s when Jack remembered the magic beans and he showed them to his mom. There wasn’t no instruction book with them beans, so Jack didn’t exactly know what they was supposed to do, and when his mom heard that, she totally flipped out and threw them beans out the window.

Some of them magic beans landed on the ground outside, in the garden, but some of them landed in a kettle of water boiling on the stove.

After a little while when they was both sitting there in the dark, they smelled something that smelled pretty good coming from the stove. Jack lit one of the candles and checked it all out, and he saw that the boiling water had turned brown and smelled pretty good.

He took a little taste with a wooden spoon and he thought it tasted pretty good, then his mom came over and tasted the brown liquid as well. They both reely liked the liquid, and they was both drinking it when Jack got some down the wrong pipe and almost choked on it.  He coughed, then wheezed, and that’s when his mom thought he had said, “Coffee.” So that’s what they called it.

Then the next morning they went out to see what had happened to the rest of the beans Trixie had thrown out the window, but they were nowhere in sight.

After about a couple of weeks Trixie noticed a whole bunch of funny-looking little trees growing in her garden, then smelled that familiar smell of the “Coffee” coming from the leaves and the little berries that was growing on each little tree already.

After about another couple of weeks, all of the little trees was covered with zillions of them magic beans so Jack went out and picked a handful of them and threw them into a boiling kettle again, and they had a reel cool “Coffee Party,” and they was pretty much awake all night, there in the dark, drinking coffee until the sun came up in the morning.

Pretty soon they figgered out to plant a whole bunch of more of them magic beans and then they could manufacture lots more of them little trees and grow even more coffee and sell it to their friends and neighbors. Eventually, Jack figgered out that you could cook them beans in the oven and make the coffee taste even better, and also, then it made the beans so they wouldn’t grow into a tree in case one of his customers that bought some beans tried to grow his own trees.

Eventually, people in the big city at the bottom of thPicture of coffee tree with money growing on ite mountain heard about his invention of “Coffee,” and they all wanted to try some, so Jack started taking some into town and selling them beans in little brown bags that held about a pound. After not a whole long time, he started hauling them into town with a little red wagon that he bought with some of the exter money he had earned from selling them magic beans.

Then pretty soon, it got to be so much work thaPicture of the used donkey dealer where Juan bought his donkeyt he bought a donkey that he could then load up with big bags of coffee beans and haul them down the mountain and get back in time to eat dinner.

In another town on the other side of the mountain there was another kid named “Jack,” and he had also bought some magic beans from the same guy, but them was different beans, and they jest grew into a giant beanstalk, and Jack got into some trubble with some giant or something and had to chop down that reely big beanstalk, and then wound up with nothing but a dead beanstalk that crashed down on top of his neighbor’s house and pretty much wrecked it.

Fer that reason, the first Jack, Jack Valdez, who had gotten the coffee beans, decided to change his name, so he changed it to “Juán,” which is Spanish for Jack.

“And the rest is history,” as they say.

Course, that’s jest one story about Juán Valdez and how he got reel rich in his coffee business. You ken jest click here to find out more: More about Juán Valdez

Oh, yeah, they made so much money that they was pretty soon able to buy back “Mrs. Moo,” who was reel glad to be back home. Then they turned some of the milk she manufactured into cream to make the coffee reely good!

Then...they all lived happily ever after.

Return to Top     Return to Home

Quote of the Day:

"A Diamond is Forever...but a bag of fries seldom makes it home!" --Sparky

Quote of Another Day:

" 'Desserts' is 'Stressed' Spelled Backwards.  The reason is cuz when there's no dessert, I always get stressed." --Sparky

More About Bananas

Brain Power: Some students at an English school were helped through their exams by eating bananas at breakfast, break and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.  Banana burps also help make you stay awake.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

And the next time you see a mosquito about to bite you, you can smack him with the banana!

You ken also keep a spare banana skin in your pocket or hanging around your neck fer jest such an occasion, also.

More About Oreo Cookies

You ken jest type in "Oreo Cookies", on  your WWW computer thingy or click here Oreos and it will show you about a zillion websites that you ken check out fer more information on those delicious cookies.

Fer even more exciting information about Oreos and other things they make, click here: More Oreos 

Some History of the Oreo Cookie

• 1898 National Biscuit Company (NaBisCo) founded.

• 1912 Oreo Cookies introduced.

• 1974 Official name of cookie became OREO Chocolate Sandwich Cookies.

• 1975 DOUBLE STUF Oreos introduced.

• 1987 Fudge covered Oreos introduced.

• 1991 Halloween Oreos introduced.

• 1995 Christmas Oreos introduced.

• 1998 Oreos made kosher.

• 2004 Sparky got reel sick from eating too many Oreos.

Sparky got sick from eating too many cookies

A Short History of JELL-O®

In 1845, the industrialist, inventor and philanthropist Peter Cooper, of Tom Thumb engine and Cooper Union fame, obtained the first patent for a gelatin dessert. Although he packaged his gelatin in neat little boxes with directions for use, Cooper did very little with it. Home cooks still relied on sheets of prepared gelatin, which had to be clarified by boiling with egg whites and shells and dripped through a jelly bag before they could be poured into molds. This was a time-consuming process, very different from today's JELL-O® gelatin.

In 1897, Pearle B. Wait, a carpenter and cough medicine manufacturer from LeRoy, New York, developed a fruit-flavored version of Cooper's gelatin. His wife, May Davis Wait, named it JELL-O®. First flavors were: strawberry, raspberry, orange and lemon.

In 1899, Wait sold the business to Orator Francis Woodward, a neighbor, for $450.

Some Flavors of JELL-O®Box of Jell-O before you turn it into dessert

Berry Blue
Black Cherry
Mixed Fruit
Wild Strawberry

Question of the Day:

"Everybuddy knows that if you make reel strong coffee and drink too much of it, the caffeine in it will keep you wide awake fer a reel long time.  So, if you make decaf coffee reel strong and drink a whole bunch of it, will it make you go to sleep fer a reel long time?"

Dog that drank too much real strong decaf coffee

Some Cool Coffee Flavors:

Almond Toffee Crunch
Apricot Cream
Banana Hazelnut
Candy Apple
Caramel Apple
Chocolate Almond
Chocolate Cherry
Chocolate Coconut
Coconut Cream
Cookie Doodle
Fiesta Fudge
German Chocolate Cake
Golden Pecan
French Vanilla
Irish Mocha Mint
Irish Cream
Orange Coconut
Peanut Butter Cup
Peppermint Patty
Swiss Chocolate
Vanilla Nut
Vanilla Macadamia Nut
White Chocolate Cherry

You ken also click here for more websites that tell you all about Flavored Coffees.



All Travel

Train & Yard




Bike Stories


About Sparky

D-I-Y Page

Contact Me


Copyright (C) 2004 by James J. Meagher